I do not care in the very end

Today I received an E-mail, about some information after the 2010 Asian Games. I opened it absent-mindedly, and suddenly realized that it’s been 4 months since and after I being a volunteer of 2010 Asian Games. To my surprise, I don’t care my suffering and difficulties now.

Despite the exact effects, Guangzhou gov. did want to hold an excellent and impressive Asian Games. To encourage citizens to become volunteers, some promotions were provided at that time. To be honest, I wouldn’t sign up for being a member of city volunteers, but for those promotions. In fact, I felt a little regret for my behaviour, though it’s my duty to get ready for it. Standing by the road for 4 hours each times, breathing the air filled with dust, and keeping the order while passers-by crossing the road…… More unexpectedly, the promotions took only limited effect in the end.
However, I didn’t blame on the “disproportionate” return today. “Oh, it seems to be happening long long ago.” This thought appeared in my mind today.

After crossing the boundless prairie, after going through strong winds or mountainous waves, I find myself not caring in the very very end.
Whatever the beginning or the end, whatever the devotions or gains, whatever the regret of persistence.

It seems that nothing should be cared for after long long time. They themselves are unimportant.

So what’s the meaning? Since in the end I won’t care for my devotions and gains, why did I do that, and what’s the meaning actually?
It reminds me of a joke, or a paradox, or a sentence with philosophy:

What’s the meaning of life? I don’t know. So I live for the answer.